What to Do if Your Child is Being Bullied
Youth frequently will not tell you they are being bullied because they are embarrassed, ashamed, frightened of those who are bullying them, or afraid of being seen as a “tattler.” If your child tells you about being bullied, it has taken a lot of courage to do so. Your child needs your help to stop the bullying.
What to do if your child is being bullied?
• First, focus on your child. BE supportive and gather information about the bullying.
• Never tell your child to ignore the bullying. What the child may “hear” is that you are going to ignore it. If the child were able to simply ignore it, he or she likely would not have told you about it. Often, trying to ignore bullying allows it to become more serious
• Don’t blame the child who is being bullied. Don’t assume that your child did something to provoke the bullying. Don’t say, “What did you do to aggravate the other child or adult?”
• Listen carefully to what your child tells you about the bullying. Ask him or her to describe who was involved and how and where each bullying episode happened, and document what he or she tells you
• Learn as much as you can about the bullying tactics used, and when and where the bullying happened. (e.g., What was the name of the game played?) Can your child name the other child(ren) or adults who may have witnessed the bullying?
• Empathize with your child. Tell him/her that bullying is wrong, not their fault, and that you are glad he or she had the courage to tell you about it. Ask your child what he or she thinks can be done to help. Assure him or her that you will think about what needs to be done and you will let him or her know what you are going to do.
• If you disagree with how your child handled the bullying situation, don’t criticize him or her.
• Do not encourage physical retaliation (“Just hit them back!”) as a solution. Hitting another child is not likely to end the problem, and it could result in your child being removed from school or escalating the situation
• Check your emotions. A parent’s protective instincts stir strong emotions. Although it is difficult, a parent is wise to step back and consider the next step carefully.
